[MUSIC PLAYING] Yo, we always want
to hear from Bodega Hive, which is why every week– Yes. We’re taking audience
questions– from the audience. Yeah. – Questions from the audience.
– Yes. That’s why it’s called
audience questions. So our first question will come
from maroon shirt, the most problematic person on Twitter. What’s up, guys? First time, longtime. First time, longtime. Hey, how you doing? All right. I have a Would You Rather. Would you rather listen
to Jeremy Renner’s album– MERO: Whoo. DESUS: [VOCALIZING] Three times a day for
the rest of your life. MERO: Yes. DESUS: OK. Or never eat ass again. Ooh. [LAUGHTER] Ooh. AUDIENCE: No thanks. Ooh, wow. Give me all the Renner. Wow, you’d never
eat ass again? Give me all the Renner. No, I’ll take the Renner over
not eating ass ever again. That’s– that’s– ass eating
is like a secret move, B? [LAUGHTER] You know what I’m saying? You ever play Street
Fighter with Akuma? You do the Raging Demon. You don’t know what he’s doing. It’s just mad Japanese shit. And then one fuck is dead. That’s ass-eating. [LAUGHTER] You know what I’m saying? Like you start eating ass, and
shorty’s like, oh shit, whoa. I’ve never experienced
anything like this. You know what I mean? And then boom, Raging Demon. So give me that [VOCALIZING]. All day. I can’t give up ass-eating
because that’s the most intimate thing our
generation does now. That’s right.
[LAUGHTER] Like back in the day,
like your grandfather proposed to your grandmother. Now like, you know it’s
love if they eat your butt. Your butt. So I can’t remove
that from the table. Like no shower– That’s how a lot
of people will know. They’d be like, that’s
how I knew he was the one when I was like, ahh. Yeah. He put himself all
the way in my butt. He was tickling
my balloon knot. – Yeah.
– Like that right there. No. You know what I mean? We took the 4 from
14th to Burnside. He did– he didn’t care
I ate Chipotle that day. He don’t care. And I got extra sour cream. He knows I’m wild
lactose intolerant. [LAUGHTER] He was spitting out
corn for two days. That’s right. [LAUGHTER] You asked the question. That’s the answer
you get, maroon. [LAUGHTER] I farted in his mouth. I came out his nose
like a neti pot. [LAUGHTER] That’s kind of hot. If anyone has a PornHub link
for that, send it to me. Yo. Neti pot pino. You know what I”m saying? [LAUGHTER] Stick a dick in your
nose and shit, like. I know that Showtime marketing
is like, why do we do this? Why? why? What was the point of this? Cesar, tell me why. Next question. A my jail nigga! Yeah. [INTERPOSING VOICES] Let them know. One hitter quitter. D-Block, what’s up? Call me sandman because
I put niggas to sleep. All right, fresh
from Rikers Island. What are you–
[LAUGHTER] What are y’all going to do
to celebrate if the Yankees win the World Series? Oh, man. We’re going to be on a
float with CC Sebastian. Yes. I’m going to be
shirtless like JR Smith. I’m going to be bottomless. I don’t care if
it’s 20 degrees. I don’t care.
OK I don’t care, dog. DESUS: We’re going
to be out there. We want– It could be 15 below
zero, I’m gonna be up there with a full erection, B.
– Yeah. Let’s say, I wonder
what’s going to die. Yeah. That’s how– how
lit it’s going to be. I’m gonna fight a baby. Straight up. Randomly, just randomly
punch a baby in a stroller, like what’s up? I’m gonna fight my own kids. I will fight his kids. It’s gonna be and
him against his kid. [LAUGHTER] Double Dragon
style back to back. Your little one got a knife.
Kick her. Kick her. [LAUGHTER] Oh, shit. She know how to throw it. Oh, damn. What is the worst thing you
ever ate while you were high? Worst thing I ever
ate while I was high. Ooh. Worst thing I ever
ate while I was high. It definitely was
a dairy product. You know what I’m saying? Because we all
know, dairy makes me pee out of my ass for 48 hours. I think I made a
ice cream sandwich– a peanut butter and jelly
sandwich with ice cream using Eggo waffles as bread. And I ate that whole– and it was Goober grape. It wasn’t even real
peanut butter jelly. It was the Goober grape
shit that comes together. And that shit is
just like candy. I was just like, [PLBBT] ice
cream– pow, chocolate syrup, regular syrup. karo syrup. [SLAPS HAND] Another
waffle on that bitch. I was like [STUFFING FACE]
Ate that shit in two bites. It was all over my shirt. When I was in
Amsterdam, high– duh, as you do in Amsterdam. It was like 3:00 in the
morning– and I went to, I guess it was like their
bodega or something, and they had like
a meat sandwich. First of all, if it’s
just called meat sandwich, you shouldn’t really eat it. So I I’m like,
I’m trying to make the guy make a chop cheese.
I’m telling him chop it up. But it’s like a
big slab of meat. And there’s no
spices or nothing. So I was like, I’m taking it
back to the hotel to eat it. And he just took the
meat with his bare hand and just put it on
top of the counter, and then he went under
and was looking for a bag. [AUDIENCE GROANING]
And he threw it in the bag. And I was like, I’m
not gonna eat that. So after I ate it, [LAUGHTER] I was just pretty sick for
the next couple of days. I shouldn’t have done it,
but I learned nothing, and I was back at that
store the next night. I’m never going to
Europe in my life. Also they were just handling
the donuts with no, like people were just picking up the
donuts and like licking them and putting them back. I was like wow, y’all different. But they have universal
health care so [LAUGHTER] It’s different. You’re– First and foremost, [SPEAKING SPANISH] How many Dominicans
are in America? [LAUGHTER] [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] There’s some more, there’s
some more, there’s some more. Yeah! Every now and then, Trump’ll
be talking and I’m like, yeah, we need limits. [LAUGHTER] All right. My question is can we stop
gentrification in the Bronx? – Absolutely
– No, we can’t. We can’t. There’s parts of the
Bronx that are not– so this is where
gentrification comes from. It’s from like, yo, is this shit
accessible to the cool parts of New York City? No. Castle Hill, King’s
Bridge, those areas. Nobody wants to– no white
people don’t want to go there. You know what I’m saying? They’re like, how long does
it take to get to the SVA from here?
– That’s wrong. Because they’re gonna
build– they’re building a Metro North for the– he doesn’t know what
he’s talking about. On the east side of the
Bronx, they’re building a Metro North whatever. You can’t stop
gentrification in the Bronx. They’re building a tower. Two blocks away from me,
they have $7,000 condos. It’s on 136th Street. My nigga! You gonna take the 4 train? What is this shit? [LAUGHTER] That says wow. And then we got– we just got
a new pulled pork restaurant on Bruckner Boulevard. [SIGHS] – And that shit’s fire, dog.
– No, listen– That shit’s fire. The thing is
gentrification is bad. But it’s also– it
has some upsides. Like it’s bad, like you like
damn, like my rent is mad high. But yo, fam, I can get
like Japanese bread crumbs at my bodega. [LAUGHTER] That’s the limits, dawg. My business man upset
like, I cannot believe this. [INTERPOSING VOICES] I can’t. The neighborhood is destructive.
[INTERPOSING VOICES] I’m like–
[INTERPOSING VOICES] I’m getting a chop
cheese, I’m like, let me get a fennel in that.
They’re like, all right. [LAUGHTER] We got that. Yo, can you imagine going
up to Papi and being like, yo, Pap, you got Chobani? [LAUGHTER] He’d be like, Chobani, [SPANISH] [LAUGHTER]
[SPANISH] Go up there. You get yourself–
yourself a vegan ham and cheese sandwich for Papi. Whoo! So you know you made it. God damn, bro, I moved
to Jersey right on time. OK, so this question
is actually for Desus. DESUS: All right. Here we go. So I just want to
know, why do Jamaican men be wild in the club? One minute they’re
pawing the river, and next they’re
pawing your back. Can I get some clarification? We are very
enthusiastic people. We do things with
a lot of gusto, whether it’s dancing, making
new families, whatever. [LAUGHTER] You know, we’re just passionate. We’re just passionate. And you know,
sometimes the best way to show a woman that you enjoy
her is jumping on her back up and down. Have you ever noticed
that in every Jamaican parry there is a ladder? It’s because most Jamaicans
work at Home Depot. They bring the ladder
to the bashment, and then they jump
off it onto Stacy Ann. Beautiful BBW Stacy Ann. There you go. There you go. You know what I’m saying? Dominicans can’t do that
because they wear ALDO shoes and don’t have the traction
to go on top of ladders. We don’t do that. We don’t do that. OK? Just like Dominican men
blow out of their back, Dominican men in the mirror are
trying to cut their eyebrows. Talk to em!
Talk to em! We just lie back like– Mami. Also yeah, you know, Jamaican
men, we’re very passionate. Also the same
enthusiasm we have when we’re like ramming
up on you in the club is like if you try to– you ever try to break
up with a Jamaican man? And we’re just like, no. [LAUGHTER] Girl, let’s talk about it. No, stop. I’ve been in a relationship
for like seven years. The girl broke up with
me like five years ago. I suppose if you
showing up at her house, her husband be like
stop coming here. I was like, no. Smart woman. Smart woman. Been together
since fourth grade. All right.
We good? [APPLAUSE] Hey! That is the show, y’all. [MUSIC PLAYING]