VLADIMIR PUTIN HAS THIS
REPUTATION OF BEING A TRUE MAN’S MAN, OF WRESTLING BEARS AND
SWIMMING IN FREEZING WATER, BUT IS THAT REPUTATION
ACTUALLY EARNED? OR ARE PEOPLE JUST
GOING EASY ON HIM? WE WILL TAKE A LOOK AT SOME
FOOTAGE HERE WHERE HE WAS TEARING UP THE ICE AS PART OF
HIS 63RD BIRTHDAY PARTY. [ANNOUNCEMENT IN RUSSIAN] SO YOU ONLY SEE THE ONE GOAL.
HE IS PLAYING AGAINST FORMER NFL PLAYERS — NHL. HE GOT SEVEN GOALS. I DON’T
THINK ICELAND IN “MIGHTY DUCKS 2” GOT SEVEN GOALS. HE DESTROYED
THEM BY HIMSELF. WE KNOW WHO THIS REMINDS EACH
OTHER OF, NO QUESTION. YEAH, KIM JONG-IL. HE WAS SAID TO HAVE BOWLED A
300 EVERY TIME HE BOWLED. BUT VLADIMIR PUTIN ONCE BOWLED
A 400. KIM JONG-IL BOWLED A 300
EVERY TIME HE BOWLED, AND HE PLAYED GOLF AND SHOT A 27 ON A
CHAMPIONSHIP COURSE. HE HAD NINE HOLES IN ONE. AND THE THING OF
IT IS, IT IS SO UNNECESSARY. HE’S 63 YEARS OLD, PUTIN, AND
HOCKEY PEOPLE SAY HE IS CLEARLY PRETTY GOOD. HE SKATED IN
COLLEGE, HE CAN HANDLE HIMSELF, HE CAN SKATE A LITTLE BIT. HOW
RIDICULOUS IS IT, AND WHAT DOES IT SAY ABOUT THE COUNTRY, THAT
YOU HAVE GUYS ON THE ICE THAT ARE LIKE, LET PUTIN SCORE. LET THE PUTIN WIN. IT IS WONDERFULLY
EMBARRASSING, RIGHT? BECAUSE WHAT A SAD, RIDICULOUS FORM OF
PROPAGANDA. IT IS THE MOST TRANSPARENT THING EVER. IS
ANYONE SITTING AT HOME IN RUSSIA, EVEN LIKE THE MOST
DIEHARD RIGHT-WING RUSSIAN, ARE THEY LIKE, YEAH, PUTIN! I TURNED
THEM INTO GERMAN. NYET, NYET! SITTING AT HOME AND THEY GO,
YEAH, PUTIN GOT ‘EM. SEVEN GOALS. NOBODY THINKS THAT.
HIS MOM DOESN’T THINK THAT. IT SUGGESTS A LACK OF
SOPHISTICATION THAT WE WOULD EQUATE WITH NORTH KOREA, WHICH
IS STUNNING BECAUSE YOU THINK THE RUSSIANS WOULD BE MORE
SOPHISTICATED. I DON’T WANT TO ATTACK HIM ON
HIS BIRTHDAY BUT I FEEL OKAY DOING IT IN THIS BECAUSE HE IS A HUGE ASSHOLE AND
HE’S KILLING PEOPLE. IN ANY CASE I THINK WE
HAVE AN AMAZING TRADITION IN AMERICA, PROBABLY A LOT OF
COUNTRIES, WHERE IN LIKE A LITTLE LEAGUE GAME, OR WHEN I
PLAYED BASKETBALL OR SOMETHING, IF THERE IS A KID ON THE TEAM WHO
IS PERHAPS SPECIAL NEEDS OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT, WHO IS
GETTING INVOLVED IN EVERYTHING, AT THE END OF THE GAME THEY
MIGHT HAVE HIM — LET HIM DO A LAYUP SO HE IS A PART OF THE
GAME. AND EVERYBODY CHEERS FOR HIM, IT SHOWS THAT WE WANT
EVERYONE TO BE INVOLVED AND WE SUPPORT EVERYBODY IF YOU TRY AND
EVERYTHING. THEY ARE DOING THAT FOR THE GUY WHO LEADS THEIR
COUNTRY. SPECIAL NEEDS PRESIDENT
VLADIMIR PUTIN. IT IS WORSE THAN THAT, BECAUSE
THAT KID KNOWS THAT, HEY, THEY GAVE ME A LAYUP. THAT IS GREAT.
HE SCORED SEVEN TIMES, AND HE DOESN’T GET IT. HE IS LIKE,
YEAH, GOT ‘EM. LIKE AFTER FIVE TIMES, AFTER
FIVE GOALS, HE SHOULD GO GUYS, QUIT FUCKING AROUND. I AM LOOKING
LIKE JAGOFF. IF YOU DON’T STOP I WILL TAKE SHIRT OFF AND RIDE BEAR. BARACK OBAMA DOES NOT GET A
BUNCH OF FANS TOGETHER AND HAVE PEOPLE WATCH HIM PLAY BASKETBALL
AGAINST NBA PLAYERS AND SCORE 50 POINTS. HE HAS A PRIVATE COURT,
THAT IS HOW IT IS DONE. JORDAN COULDN’T STOP OBAMA
AGAIN? THAT WAS THE WORST PIECE OF PROPAGANDA I HAVE EVER SEEN.