– All right,
Chamberlain Heights.
I hope you’re ready
for tonight’s game
over at Duncan
against Cuba Gooding Jr. High.
One win,
and Duncan will be
in the playoffs
for the first time ever.
And after the game,
hang around for the jersey
retirement for the all-time
leading scorer
in Duncan High history,
Montrel Cummings.
His brother plays
on the team as well,
but he don’t get no burn.– Damn, the whole town know
you a bench rider now. – No shit, I’ll never
be a legend if I don’t get off the bench. – Don’t sweat that, pimp. I feel like we’re gonna
get our shots soon, and when we do,
we’re gonna blow up bigger than Jamal’s mom
after eating peanuts. [chuckles]
– Ha, ha! That’s funny. Speaking of moms
with big titties, hey, Mrs. Milk. Fuck, marry, kill–
me, Grover, Milk. – That’s a good question. I’d definitely fuck Jamal. – Mom, how the hell you gonna
fuck Jamal over your own son? – That’s sick.
– I knew you was a thot, Mom. – It’s my body, Milton, my body.
– Sometimes I got to remind myself that you’re my mom.
– That’s sick, Milton. – Get your life together.
– Mind your business, Milton![cheering]– Yeah, that’s me, baby.
They retiring my jersey. So do you want to go for a ride
in my boy’s party hearse? It’s got it’s own Starbucks,
a Coffee Bean, a cocoa butter machine,
and an Asian woman in the back to do your nails. All thanks to my homey,
Shea Butta. Yeah!
– Yeah, that’s right. My hearse is the shit.
It even got a gold-plated bidet. Aye,
can a nigga have some chips? – Ow!
And one. – Two shots at the line,
Black Holes. [cheers and applause] – Yeah, we’re in there. Yeah–[cracks]
Oh, God! Oh! Oh!
[audience groaning] – Oh, shit, Randy trying
to cough up a dick! [laughter] – Oh, my God!
Oh! Oh! – In adherence with the–
– Oh! Oh! God! – In adherence with the–
– Oh! Oh! Oh! – Man, will somebody get
this fucking kid, man? – Oh! God! – In adherence with the rules,
the opposing coach will select another
Duncan player to replace the injured one.[sultry R&B music]– ♪ Hello, hello ♪– I’ll do it.
– You ain’t gonna do shit. You ain’t got off the bench
all year, you broke jumper
motherfucker.