Last month, I was honoured to be
made captain of my netball team. David. How many players are there
in a netball team? What? How many players are there
in a netball team? You didn’t let me finish
the sentence. Last month, I was honoured to be
made captain of my netball team. Shortly afterwards I was
sacked after I picked the wrong amount of players. – That was my problem,
as captain I never knew.
– I’m fairly sure it’s a lie. – FIVE! – Five. – Five. Five, is that
correct? – Five. – No, no. Go through the positions for me
then, will you? Remind me again
what they are. This is afterwards.
Afterwards having a drink now. So, you play with two less
than most other teams. That’s why we were so good. I’ll tell you what it was,
there was quite a lot of players.
I was, as captain, I was getting people on and off
all the time, and, er… So, you
lost track of how many were on. You had rolling subs, did you? Rolling subs, yeah. That was her
name, that was her nickname anyway. She waddled on like that. Come on,
let her have a go, old rolling subs. She got the nickname cos she’d
eaten too many subways, sandwiches. What’s the name of the team? Er…
Well, I go by their, their initials. One was called GK, one was, er…
What’s the name of the overall team? Yeah, that’s, that’s what
was on their overalls. No, it was, um, er… the… So, the team they were all women
apart from myself because I’m a man. A man’s man. So, it wasn’t a men’s
netball team? It was a women’s
netball team with one man? – No, a women’s netball team, but I
was asked to be… – What position do
– you play? I played the goal keeper. – Ah. – Not the net keeper,
that’s the mistake I made. – Is it not goal defence? – No, you have
a goal keeper and a goal defence. – Do you? – Hm, yes. – Thank God for that! I don’t think we established
the name of the team.
They must have had a name. OK. So, basically I will, I will
now come up with six names of girls. – If you make me… – No, no, we don’t
want… – The team name. – Team name. – I thought you meant
names of the members of team. – No! Otherwise, we would have said what
were the girls called.
What is the team name? Like, there’s the Surrey Storm.
So, were these the Lee’s ladies? I got it, it was the Surrey Storm. The Surrey. It wasn’t, it was the…
It wasn’t, that would be too much
of a coincidence. It was Esher Ladies. Esher Ladies? I was very strict about having to
change the name to Esher. This is a curious turn of events,
how did it come about? My wife is in the team and…
So are you, remember. Well, I was only in it for a short
period of time, I think you’ll find. Because this was only last month, so
I’ve only just joined it, this is… You’ve been immediately made captain. Listen, the first day I turned up
here I was made captain
what’s the difference? Some of us just have a presence.
I genuinely am not allowed
on boats anymore because people keep pushing
me at the front and say steer. You’re allowed to have one, two,
three… could you have seven men
playing in the ladies league? No, you’re thinking
of the men’s league. In this ladies league, how many
men are permissible per team. Usually, under normal circumstances,
zero. Right. – But they made an exception.
– Did they not notice you were a man? The team loses every single week and they’ve become a bit of a joke
in the Surrey’s ladies league, so I turned up, they were a player
short, and they said, look you know you’re going to lose,
you always lose, is there any chance at all we can just have my husband
playing, as well? I went on and – I wouldn’t have got on but rolling
subs was feeling a bit sick. She’d had five that day,
she was shovelling them in. “Oh, you go on, Lee.
I’m having another one.” And so I went on and they said –
I think it was a little bit
of a token thing – they said, let’s make him captain
cos of his large hands. Captain
Large Hands they called me. So, what are you thinking, David?
Is this true? What do you think?
It sounds remarkably untrue. – Do you think it happened? – No I,
I don’t think it happened at all.
– I don’t think it happened. You’re going to say it’s a lie,
all right. Goal keeper, truth or lie? It is in fact a lie. Yes, it’s a lie. Lee is not
the captain of a netball team.