– On the evening of December 30th, two women I’m dubbing the
Thelma and Louise of Pincher Bay went on a drunken joy ride hitting several telephone poles, knocking over three bird baths, and even sideswiping an ice cream truck that was idling in a Weight
Watchers parking lot. But unlike the movie, our Thelma and Louise did not
proceed to fly off of a cliff. Instead, they flew off the deep end by exiting their vehicle and interrupting a
local men’s hockey game. We’ve obtained this footage showing the two women on the ice surface. Watch and discussed as one of the females steals a man’s stick, which, while not an illegal offense, is certainly an illegal defense. The other female grabs the puck and pitches it like a baseball as the first takes a swing! – Strike, you’re out! – [Hardigee] Indeed, she was out. Out of line. These perpetrators are not only guilty of disturbing the peace of
these partially intoxicated men, they’re also insulting the
great Canadian game of hockey by turning it into baseball, which is hardly a sport at all. – Yeah, it was crazy, eh? I’ve never seen anything like it. They said some pretty mean things. – [Reporter] What did they say? – Well, they said I sucked at hockey even though I have two assists. – [Reporter] Well that’s
pretty good for a game. – Oh no, that’s what I had for the season. That was our last game. Keep in mind, I can
hardly see what I’m doing with all the stink from my muscle rub coming up through my jersey and it burns the heck out of my eyes. But it’s either that or I get
drunk to ease aches and pains. I’m also drunk. – Listen now, if you can bear it, to the terrible distress
of one of the players, 45 year old Bob Gains, as he places this frantic 911 call. – [Dispatcher] 911, what’s your emergency? – [Bob] Two women just
wrecked our hockey game. This is the only time I get
away from my wife and kids. – [Dispatcher] Sorry, who–? – [Bob] This is the only time I get away from my wife and kids. – The desperation in that man’s voice. Horrific. The two women were last
seen fleeing the rink on skates they’d stolen from the players. If Thelma and Louise are
watching this right now, listen closely, ladies. Pincher Bay police will not
sleep until you are on ice. And I don’t mean the ice you were on, I mean jail. Our wits are sharp, unlike
your skates, currently. My department’s resources are
bent towards apprehending you. Normally, we shut down the
department on Saturdays to watch hockey night in Canada. But not tonight. A crime has been committed
against our national game, and we will not stand idly by, as do the players of baseball for hours on end. Citizens of Pincher Bay, stay vigilant. And remember what Don Terry says: “Keep your head up when you’re going through
the train tracks.” And I mean that literally because the railroad crossing
at Main and Bleak street is malfunctioning. – [Narrator] If you have any
information on this crime, contact Crime Busters at 555-TIPS, or on their net site, http://geocities.com /pincherbaypolice/en /folder1/website /page3.html.