“This is the… I’ll hold it for you. Thank you. “This is the cricket ball with which I bowled out Jeremy Clarkson at a charity cricket match.” There we are. Lee? – What sort of bowl was it? Was it a legspin?
– Can we see the ball? Don’t give him multiple choice. No, it was just sort of medium pace. Go on. Ready? What are you expecting to see? Well, there’s a couple of things. Firstly, how long ago was this charity match? It was… two years ago, I think? ‘Cause that… What, are you checking the serial number? No, I was looking to see how bashed around it was, where the splits were, if it looked like it had been hit. I mean… Don’t eat it. Can you show us your bowling action, David? Yes, alright. Start with a good catch. Watch out, Miranda! Sorry. Blimey! Can I just point out the inadvertent sexism that just happened? Basically a girl caught something, and before any of you had a chance to think whether that might be patronising, you went… Let’s see the action, then. Alright, my bowling action… Don’t throw the ball, obviously. No, no. I would bowl it, wouldn’t I? But no, I won’t let go. Just like that. Seems to have the action. What score was he on when you bowled him? I think about twelve. And did he run between them or just jump in his Jag? Which other popular celebrities were there? Uh… Well, Nicholas Parsons was there. You got a whole team? You’ve got quite a lot to go still. And I think that was… Everyone wasn’t a celebrity. So people were buying tickets to watch this game, and it was going towards charity? Yeah. And the draw was… Jeremy Clarkson, David Mitchell and Nicholas Parsons. £20 a ticket, yeah? That must’ve been a pretty golden ticket to get hold of, is that right(?) So what are you gonna say, Lee? Is he telling the truth or not? Well… I really don’t think he is. You don’t think he is? No, because it doesn’t appear to be a ball that was used for that purpose. Ah, what do you think, Hugh? I think it might be true, actually. I think there’s enough truth there… You think it’s a lie, you think it’s true. I think it’s a tr…lie. You say it’s a lie. David, were you telling the truth or was it a lie? It is a lie. Yes, David did not bowl out Jeremy Clarkson at a charity cricket match. Of course it’s a lie. I mean, given the chance to hurl a cricket ball towards Jeremy Clarkson, who among us could honestly say they’d aim at the stumps?